I Kinda, Maybe Love You
by RainbowHoboMustache
Summary: Takes place in the beginning of Catching Fire. Katniss breaks Peeta's heart in the worst way possible. Can she put the pieces back together? Can their friendship turn into something else? Wildly OOC Katniss and a little Gale.


I could never tell you the exact moment that I fell in love with Peeta Mellark. I would guess that the day he threw me the bread outside of the bakery, made my feelings toward him change. I used to dislike him. I don't know why, but I just did. Maybe it was because he was a Merchant while I was from the Seam. Its a dumb reason, but thats how it was.

I can tell you, that when I first kissed him, I felt like I was home. Sure, on my part, it was just acting. I would have done anything to get home to Prim. Yet, when we were in the cave, and I looked up at him, I knew that I would do anything to get us both home.

I was happy, wait thats understating it, I was excited, when we were the final team left. We had a chance. That was until Cato stepped into the picture. When he had Peeta in a head lock on top of the cornucopia, my heart shattered. Thank god for Peeta and his quick thinking, as well as my aim.  
I was never happier than in the moment when the last tribute was finally gone. We were finally going home! Our happiness was short lived when they revoked the rule change. My world pretty much shattered when I heard those words.

Of course, Peeta was the one to lay down his life for me. I wouldn't have it. Either we were both going home or neither of us were going home. Thats why I pulled out the berries.

Most people think that I did it to prove a point. To defy the capital, or something like that. Truthfully, I did it because I, Katniss Everdeen, am in love with Peeta Mellark. Of course I would never admit that to him. Thats why I'm here now. All alone, while Peeta's probably off with some other girl.  
Ever since we have gotten home, I've ignored him. I have kept up in my room, not saying anything to anyone. And now I regret it. Why do I keep pushing away the boy that I love? Why do I keep pushing away the boy that would give me anything in life? Why do I only ever care about myself? Those questions all have one answer; I'm selfish.

I hope that if I ignored Peeta, he would move on, and find a girl thats 10x better than me. I'm no good. I'm a broken killer.

It wasn't until the day Haymitch, of all people, showed up at my door. I lived right next to him, Peeta lived across the street. Prim had opened the door and let him in. I was surprised at first. I told them that I didn't want anyone visiting. I heard his loud footsteps as he climbed the stairs. Haymitch opens the door and it slams against the wall. I jump at the sound. Usually the house is quiet. Loud nosies are foreign to me now.

"Why hello, sweetheart" Haymitch says sarcastically, slumping down into the chair near my bed. "Hows life been?" I know he doesn't actually care.

"Shut up" I mumble. That doesn't stop him though.

"My lives been great. Every morning I get up and have to walk over to Peeta's house just to drag him to the bakery, the only place he feels welcomed. Then I have to go pick him up like a three year old to take him home. Do you know why? Do you know why he's been depressed for days? I think you do" Haymitch growls. I've never seen him so mad. I instantly feel bad.

"Sorry" I mutter. Haymitch explodes with laughter.

"Don't apologize to me" Haymitch explains. I glare at him. After a few minutes he stops laughing and his face grows serious. "I want you to explain this to me. A few days ago you were willing to lay down your life for him. And now, your ignoring him. Did you know that all he does is just sit on his couch and stare at the wall? I try to get him up. I try to get him to find someone else, since the one he wants is being a little bitch. But, he just mumbles something about you being the only one, and not wanting anyone else. You should be happy that someone loves you that much. But nope, your selfish, you know what? I'll come over when you get your head screwed on straight." And with that, he leaves the room.

After he leaves I decided that enough is enough. I finally climb out of my bed and stand up. I feel woozy because I have been laying in that bed for too long. I'm about to walk out of my room when I realize that I'm wearing the same clothes that I've been wearing for days. I take a quick shower and put on a plain black t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I braid my hair back and start walking down the stairs.

When I reach the ground I'm instantly bowled over. I keep myself from falling and realize that its Prim hugging me. I can feel her sobs in my shirt.

"Katniss!" she yells. I rub her back soothingly and it seems to calm her down a little.

"Hi little duck" I say quietly. When she finally lets go of me we sit down on the couch.

"I missed you" she hiccuped. I nod my head understandingly. I immediately feel bad. Prim already had to deal with one family member freezing up. Then, she had to face another one blocking out the world.

"Why were you so upset? Why were you acting like mom?" she asks quietly. I run my hands through her hair soothingly and sigh.

"I made a terrible mistake" I tell her, she nods her head for me to continue. "Remember how in the games, I pretended to be in love with Peeta? Well, I don't think that I was actually pretending." I try not to let the tears that are welling up in my eyes spill.

"What do you mean?" Prim asks. I take a deep breath, she's going to be the very first person to truly know.

"I think that I'm in love with him" I whisper. I hear Prim snort and I look at her confused. After a few moments she starts laughing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she says after calming down, "its just, I think that your the only person that didn't know that." I glare at her.

"Whats that suppose to mean?" I ask angrily.

"Everyone can see the way you look at him" Prim says quietly, "its like the way mom used to look at dad." Just like that every breath is torn out of my body.

"Really?" I ask.

"You need to talk to him, you need to fix this" Prim orders. I laugh, I haven't done that in a while.

"Thats what I was going to do before we started talking" I tell her after my laugh. Prim smiles and lets me go.

"Go get him, big sister" she deadpans. I salute her and walk out of the house.

I'm about half way there when I try to think of things to say to him. I don't think saying, "I'm sorry I've been such a heartless bitch, I think I love you" would help any. I shake my head. It will just come to me.

When I finally make it to his porch, I hesitate before knocking on the door. After a minute I hear him walk towards the door. He opens the door and for the first time since the games I see his beautiful face.

My Peeta.

He looks at me like he doesn't believe that I'm standing here. One short sentence falls out of my mouth.

"Hi, Peeta."

**Hey everyone! This is suppose to really be a retelling of Catching Fire and Mockingay. I didn't quite like how those stories were. Review please!**


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